Talitha Koum

Today's reading contains a phrase of Jesus that is never far from my mind, I even named this blog after it:

Mark 5:35-43
While he was still speaking, people from the synagogue official's house arrived and said, "Your daughter has died; why trouble the master any longer?"  

I don't know about you, but in my spiritual life, and in other areas as well, there are many initiatives that I have been drawn to, but failed to pursue because there are these voices that always whispers "who do you think you are? or "Everyone thinks that you are a fool" " you will fail, yet again" or the complacent: "what is the use and what does it matter?" and so on.  I am a coward, really, and prone to take no action rather than to risk failure or rejection so I let those voices speak, without much prayer and reflection on my part.  I began to feel the call to write a blog, and for a few years fell back into that old pattern.

"Disregarding the message that was reported, Jesus said the the synagogue official, "Do not be afraid; just have faith."

How many times, when I have allowed those voices to jabber on in my head (maybe even through the advice of others) have I missed hearing these words of Jesus?  In fact, I have failed to listen for His voice because all at once my soul is barraged with conflicting emotions.  A whirlwind of prideful self indignation, self loathing, complacency and and self justification undermine my confidence and stoke envy and jealousy.  Deadly! And it feeds the original fear that prevented me from waiting on the Lord for his saving response.

If you recall, while Jesus was on his way to Jairus's house he was held up by the woman with hemorrhages.  Jairus is in a panic, his daughter is dying, and Jesus tarries on the way.  I can hear the competing voices already in my soul if I were Jairus:  "Why would he do this to me?  I was here first! Does he not care about my family?  Does he not care about me?  Why should someone else come first?" These thoughts are stirred up versus: "Who do you think you are to presume that Jesus should rush to your aid when there are so many others who have waited longer and who are much, much needier.  Jesus does not love selfish people." Do you see the tug of war, can you feel the anxious whirlwind being stirred up?  Can you see where resentment can infest a soul if there is not time for reflection?  Can you understand how no action can seem to be the safest course?

In my cowardly heart, I often think it is better to not even try than to be rebuffed, or to fail or to work or to succeed and have no one notice or care.  If only in these moments I stop and reflect, open my heart and soul and listen; "Do not be afraid; just have faith."  Jesus does indeed stop and see to another's desperate needs along the way, but He has not forgotten about the sick little girl, he has not spurned nor resented the request of Jairus. He is not bothered by it.  He works according to a plan of eternity, and I think that if I am always so easily stirred up in anxiety and envy I will never be fit for eternity, I will never muster the courage that I need to be holy! And Jesus desires for me and for you to be holy, to dare to strive for sanctity!

"He did not allow anyone to accompany him inside except Peter, James and John the brother of James.  When they arrived at the house of the synagogue official, he caught sight of the commotion, people weeping and wailing loudly.  So he went in and said to them, 'Why this commotion and weeping?  The child is not dead but asleep.'  And they ridiculed him.  Then he put them all out.  He took along the child's father and mother and those who were with him and entered the room where the child was."

Jesus does not want me to be at the mercy of the voices (internal or from real people) that ridicule my desire for Him and my trust in Him. Voices that laugh at you for even thinking about developing a deep and intimate relationship with Him.  He allows me to wait on Him at times, to strengthen my trust and deepen my desire  for His life within me.  And in those moments of waiting I will call on Him to calm the commotion of fear, envy, self-condemnation and self-justification.  He will put out those voices of ridicule, but He will also draw forth from me strength and courage.  He will awaken me from my complacency.

He took the girl by the hand and said to her, 'Talitha koum,'  which means, 'Little girl, I say to you arise!"

That is why I named this blog Talitha Koum. I read countless other blogs that are better in so many ways, and I am very tempted to say "who cares and what is the use?" still am called.  I had to push past all the inner voices that tell me that this is a pointless enterprise, others have been there, done that and I have nothing new or better to add.  This may all be true, but I am still called.   I have to continue to seek the Lord in sending the naysayers away (these are mainly my own fears) and renewing the call.   I have to be completely humble about my talents or lack of them and whether or not any one actually cares to read a word I write, yet bold enough to respond to His call in my heart. I respond, write and hit publish and let it go, for what ever purpose He has in mind, even if it is in just drawing from me trust and a listening heart to bring to my family and those I encounter outside of cyberspace!  And when the fear in my heart rises up I wait on Him because He always comes and whispers "Talitha Koum."

I don't know why, but this song comes to mind as I am finishing this post so I thought that I would share it!  It is by Matt Maher and it is called The Spirit and the Bride:
 "For every daughter whose never heard she's beautiful , let everyone who hears these words come!  For the Spirit and the Bride say come!"

Prayer Reflections on Romans 1: 18-32

Romans 1:18-20

"The wrath of God is indeed being revealed from heaven against every impiety and wickedness of those who suppress the truth by their wickedness.  For what can be known about God is evident to them.  Ever since the creation of the world his invisible attributes of eternal power and divinity have been able to be understood and perceived in what he has made"

There are passages in scripture that always cause my heart to tremble a bit, and I can feel a surge of passion welling up in my soul.  This is one of them, and as I read it, I remember some of the times that I have seen the power and majesty, beauty and mystery of creation.  I am not a world traveler, my travels have been confined to the United States and Canada; but the majesty of creation never fails to stir my heart.  The fearsome power of nature leaves me, as a humble observer, with the knowledge of my frail humanity and provokes terror at how truly insecure I am in this world.  How easily I could be snuffed out by cold, hunger or any number of calamities that could befall a city girl out in the wilds of nature.  Perceptions of divinity and eternity are there to be sure, but how easily I am reduced to insecurity, instead of humility and how susceptible I am to allow the surge of passion in my heart to be the subject of servile fear instead of pious Fear of the Lord.

There is power in this world that I can perceive; I can stand next to waters surging against stone with such force the I can feel the cool, misty breeze stirred up by it.  I have looked out a car window as we have driven through the vast and seemingly endless Great Plains and I have been at once overwhelmed by it's immensity and thrilled by it! The mountains never fail to impress me with their majesty, and their unyielding might. I am frail ,and in these moments the illusion of security that I normally enjoy in the comfort of my modern lifestyle crumbles, even as my heart surges with passion. What if I ignore the passion that surges forth from my heart towards the power that I am overwhelmed by; or worse, I subject it to finite things or fear? I have done this often in the fears of lesser things, such as the fear of being rejected and ignored.

I have so many times let fear distract me from the True God; the fearsome power and majesty of nature, it's fickleness and cruelty create insecurity that as human beings we long to escape.  The banality of our modern existence often floods us with fears of the ultimate futility of all things around us. To reach out and, by some supplication or incantation or even by some possession of beauty or position of prestige, render the outcome that  will insure our prosperity or even just our survival is grasped at, and the passion that is so powerful in the human heart, which wells up in us for the glory of God, so as to make us ready to have Him enter our hearts, is so easily diverted to things of this world that we long to have some control over.  The fear that we then allow to direct our passion directs it in superficiality and vanity. And now my passion is muted and dulled, pointless unless it provides some tangible pleasure. Does this sound unfamiliar?  Are there not distraction in my life that divert my strength and energy toward things that cannot fulfill my hearts passion and desire? Toward things that ultimately drain our passion and replace it with slavery, and we so willingly make the exchange!

But St. Paul's verse is a warning that we must not allow those fears to prevail, for the very things that stir up feelings that should provoke our intellect to ponder and search for God, have a tendency to become the object of our passion and our fear becomes servile, our passions become degraded, and it is because we have not used our passion to energize our intellect to fully discern that God  is the Creator of the power of nature.  God is the Father of me; of all of us, even those of us who remain invisible and unseen by the finite power of this world.  St.Paul warns us that the wrath we experience is not just some where far out in the future, but here and now in the perversion of our intellect and the degradation of our morality and dignity.

Romans 1:21-24,28-32

For although they knew God they did not accord him glory as God or give him thanks.  Instead, they became vain in their reasoning, and their senseless minds were darkened.  While claiming to be wise, they became fools and exchanged the glory of the immortal God for the likeness of an image for the likeness of an image of mortal man, or of birds or of four legged animals or of snakes. Therefore, God handed them over to impurity through the lusts of their hearts for the mutual degradation of their bodies.....And since they did not see fit to acknowledge God, God handed them over to their undiscerning mind to do what is improper.  They are filled with every form of wickedness, evil, greed, and malice; full of envy, murder, rivalry, treachery, and spite.  They are gossips, and scandlemongers and they hate God.  They are insolent, haughty,boastful, ingenious in their wickedness and rebellious toward their parents.  They are senseless, faithless, ruthless.  Although they know the just decree of God that all who practice such things deserve death, they not only do them but give approval to those who practice them.

The consequence (wrath) of our actions are terrifying!