Why is it, when I settle on a spiritual sacrifice, small though it may be, I am very quickly confounded! I had for a time set aside about ten minutes after everyone had gone to bed, for some prayer time. This was to be a prayerful examen and some reading of Scripture. Even when I made the commitment there was a little voice that said, not at night, in the morning. I ignored this voice because I did not want to get up any earlier than I already was, 6:30 AM, (sometimes 6:45.....) was early enough! Yet, I found that at 10pm I would fall asleep, and my ten minute prayer time would be twenty, thirty, forty minutes, most of which was spent sleeping, and that was if I remembered to stay up at all! Always something would whisper, morning time is when you should pray.
Then, as I perused New Advent, my favorite way to spend time in front of the computer screen, all of a sudden a few bloggers began to blog about early rising for prayer. Coincidence???? I cannot say for sure, but being that my biggest sins are of the omission sort, caused by a penchant for sloth and cowardice, I thought that for once I would boldly make a change, if I am off track it is still better to act then to do nothing right? Shake off the sloth, sleep is overrated, embrace the few moments of solitude in the morning! I now remember that I make changes like this all the time, what I do not do is stick to them. No matter, screw you courage to it's sticking place and do not be afraid of failure, you can't succeed if you do not try, ect. ect.
So I began, and the first week was.....well I kept sleeping in. I did get my prayer and reading in, but it was not peaceful because it was constantly interrupted by children who are soooo needy! The next week was better. I would get up between 6:05 and 6:10....(yes, that is all that I am doing for now, maybe when I have a child reliably sleeping through the night I will consider earlier. Then again, my husband is up at 5:45, which would mean for me that complete solitude would not be possible unless I got up at 5:30.....ugh! I am not ready for that!) Wonder of wonders, the first week it worked! I felt like I had accomplished something and I wa ready for the day!
Last week was good as well, weekends are difficult, but it was working none-the-less. This week however has been a disaster. I slept in Monday and Tuesday, (also on Sunday, but that was not the issue on that day it was that my hubby was up doing the finances and before I could retreat to my room with my coffee for prayer I was confronted with a very tense questioning about a Target receipt from December, which regulated in loss of tempers) which meant that I had time for a quick examen, but Scripture would have to wait until after the kids were at school. Wednesday, Thursday and today at least one of the three youngest have been awake and full of demands before 6:30am. Today they did not even have school! So, I am frustrated again and I am wondering if I am to endure through this or if I am to make another change in my prayer schedule!
Oh well, for now I will continue to try to rise early and go with the flow of the morning as best I can!
Then, as I perused New Advent, my favorite way to spend time in front of the computer screen, all of a sudden a few bloggers began to blog about early rising for prayer. Coincidence???? I cannot say for sure, but being that my biggest sins are of the omission sort, caused by a penchant for sloth and cowardice, I thought that for once I would boldly make a change, if I am off track it is still better to act then to do nothing right? Shake off the sloth, sleep is overrated, embrace the few moments of solitude in the morning! I now remember that I make changes like this all the time, what I do not do is stick to them. No matter, screw you courage to it's sticking place and do not be afraid of failure, you can't succeed if you do not try, ect. ect.
So I began, and the first week was.....well I kept sleeping in. I did get my prayer and reading in, but it was not peaceful because it was constantly interrupted by children who are soooo needy! The next week was better. I would get up between 6:05 and 6:10....(yes, that is all that I am doing for now, maybe when I have a child reliably sleeping through the night I will consider earlier. Then again, my husband is up at 5:45, which would mean for me that complete solitude would not be possible unless I got up at 5:30.....ugh! I am not ready for that!) Wonder of wonders, the first week it worked! I felt like I had accomplished something and I wa ready for the day!
Last week was good as well, weekends are difficult, but it was working none-the-less. This week however has been a disaster. I slept in Monday and Tuesday, (also on Sunday, but that was not the issue on that day it was that my hubby was up doing the finances and before I could retreat to my room with my coffee for prayer I was confronted with a very tense questioning about a Target receipt from December, which regulated in loss of tempers) which meant that I had time for a quick examen, but Scripture would have to wait until after the kids were at school. Wednesday, Thursday and today at least one of the three youngest have been awake and full of demands before 6:30am. Today they did not even have school! So, I am frustrated again and I am wondering if I am to endure through this or if I am to make another change in my prayer schedule!
Oh well, for now I will continue to try to rise early and go with the flow of the morning as best I can!
No comments:
Post a Comment
Anonymous comments are not published.