To Whom Shall You Go?

 I have been completely absorbed in the the space trilogy by C.S. Lewis of late.  Actually I read the first of the three, Out of the Silent Planet last summer, but recently purchase the last two, Perelandra and That Hideous Strength.   They are books that I imagine I will be re-reading again in the future because there is so much there.

It was as I was reading That Hideous Strength that I came upon a passage that really impressed me.  It is a quote by a character named Dr. Dimble as the final battle is beginning.  He is on the side of good, but there are mysteries that he is grappling with that are hard for him to fully understand and his leader, the Director, has commanded him to accept.  As he is discussing things over with his wife he says:

Have you ever noticed,.....that the universe, and every little bit of the universe, is always hardening and narrowing and coming to a point?....I mean this,....If you dip into any college, or school, or parish, or family- anything you like- at a given point in its history you always find that there was a time before that point when there was more elbow room and contrasts weren't quite so sharp; and that there;s going to be a time after that point when there is even less room for indecision and codices are even more momentous  Good is always getting better and bad is always getting worse:  the possiblities of even apparent neutrality are always diminishing."  pg.280-281 

That captured my attention, and it is further fleshed out in the story. We are, for a time, gathered in and then - as with the Biblical image of a winnowing fan - we are separated out.  There are examples of situations that are accepted as morally neutral or tolerated as a necessity of an era in the Bible, but that eventually are revealed as unacceptable, such as Old Testament polygamy.  It is certainly presented in the Bible as something that is accepted, but it is definitely a falling from the original Biblical example of marriage.  And if you read your Bible carefully you see that though it is not wrong for Jacob or David, to have multiple wives and concubines, it costs them something.  Look at the jealousies and rivalries that come of it.  The eventual splitting of the Davidic Kingdom has it's beginnings in the corrosive effect of polygamy.  And the cost is sent on down the generations, until it is time to see and understand; until it is time to make a choice.  As we progress through salvation history, or even our own lives it will eventually come down to a choice, a terrible choice that requires clarity of vision and tenacious clinging to the Word of God.  Our eternal destiny will rest on it.

These thoughts have been turning over in my head for a while now, the passage just brought new clarity for me, especially in the wake of some acrimonious discussions over the issue of  "gay-marriage".  But it is not that issue that primarily bothers me, that is one of many moral issues that are confronting us in our time.  It is how we are coming to a point in our society, and choices will have to be made, and I wonder how clear we, as a culture, see the issues.  I wonder if we have been given just enough of Jesus in our religious instruction to make us think that we know what His love means, but in reality we have inoculated ourselves from being truly overtaken by His radical love.  His radical love is not tepid "acceptance" or "tolerance", it is a purifying fire.  Unless you have ordered your life on the Commandments, putting His will in front, it will be difficult to understand what a shallow sham our culture has made of love, and from there a degenerative blindness seems to set in.  Even when the choice is presented point blank, it becomes too difficult to proceed in the way of the Spirit.

Today's reading (for Saturday, April 28) makes this even more urgent in my mind:

 "Many disciples of Jesus who were listening said, "This saying is hard; who can accept it?"  Since Jesus knew that his disciples were murmuring about this, he said to them, "Does this shock you?  What if you were to see the Son of Man ascending to where he was before?  It is the Spirit that gives life, while the flesh is of no avail.   The words I have spoken to you are Spirit and life,  But there are some of you who do not believe."  Jesus knew from the beginning the ones who would not believe and the one who would betray him.  And he said, "For this reason I have told you that no one can come to me unless it is granted him by my Father."  As a result of this, many of his disciples returned to their former way of life and no longer walked with him.  Jesus then said to the Twelve, "Do you also want to leave?"  Simon Peter answered him, "Master, to whom shall we go?  You have the words of eternal life.  We have come to believe and are convinced that you are the Holy One of God."   John 6 60-69

This is at the end of the Bread of Life discourse.  Jesus is telling his followers to believe that they must "feed on me" or they will have no life in them.  They are shocked, they are confronted with something hard to believe, something that seems foolish and not rational (verse 42:  and they said, "Is this not Jesus, the son of Joseph?  Do we not know his father and mother?  Then how can he say, 'I have come down from heaven'?").    Many of the Lord's disciples no longer walked with Jesus from that point on.  But Peter shows us that he has clung to and believed in the words of the Lord, and when confronted with the choice - though he is as yet not perfected in his belief, nor does he completely understand what the Lord is saying- his love for the Lord clears the way for his courageous words.  And it is this choice that prepares Peter to humbly trust in Jesus, even after his betrayal of Him, he does not despair in his failure but receives with trust and conviction  the abundant mercy of the Lord.  How can we navigate ourselves in this era of hardening and narrowing of our own beliefs?  How can we discern the will and love of God in a time when love is perverted, materialistic, weak and used to blind and divert ourselves from the Truth?  To whom shall you go?  To whom shall you cling to?  A terrible choice is beginning to emerge-choose life, not death.

Peace and Grace,
Heidi

Facebook: Conforming Complacency or Transforming Love

"I urge you therefore, brothers, by the mercies of God, to offer your bodies as a living sacrifice, holy and pleasing to God, your spiritual worship.  Do not conform to this age but be transformed by the renewal of your mind, that you may discern what is the will of God, what is good and pleasing and perfect."  Romans 12:1-2 NAB

Facebook..... what an invitation to mediocrity in debate.  What a temptation to un-reflective pontificating (of course blogging can be also - I suppose).  St.Paul where are you when we need you!  How badly we need a St. Paul of Facebook, or is it Twitter now?

Someone I know posted a link on Facebook a while ago, which included a picture of a Bishop with the word bigot scrawled across it, and it was bravely challenged by another Facebook friend of mine.  The Bishop's crime was in attempting to teach his flock about the Catholic view of marriage and family and the link was challenged not because of hatred for homosexuals, which was insinuated, nor was it challenged because she blindly follows the Bishops, which was also an accusation that was thrown out.  She was not "casting stones" thoughtlessly.  This post was challenged because it was slanderous name-calling; an offence against charity. This may have surprised the one who posted it, since he firmly believes that he speaks on behalf of love, justice and peace.  In his mind, he was on the side of righteousness, which I guess, for him, means you can say anything you want; because, you know, the end justifies the means.

Accusations of homophobia were then quickly leveled at her (and me, for indicating my support for her and the Church with a comment and a lot of "likes").  We were on the side of hate, intolerance and blind obedience. It was an ugly display of self righteousness, justified by "Jesus platitudes" that were completely severed from the Scripture they were taken from.  And it was not only the young man, but a cadre of supporters, who jumped into the conversation for the sake of peace, and justice, and of course always for love.   But it is a counterfeit love, one that weakens and blinds.  One that dulls the intellect and reduces charity to superficial works, to making things look better, not actually transforming brokenness, just re-defining what it is. This counterfeit love affirms vice, and discourages virtue. It will damn you in the end.

Unfortunately these views are not surprising, the sentimentality that is exacerbated by our social media culture demands that feelings rule the day, until your feelings - which is your conscience in this view -  fade and/or change.  Moral laws that are hard to follow are intolerant and unjust. What was so amazing was that when his charity was challenged his tolerance is what really dissipated, and he, and his friends began to rant and rave about how the Church was our biggest problem.  He ended up throwing out a vague threat that we should watch what we posted in the future! Reminds me of a Flannery O'Connor quote (taken from a work of Elizabeth Scalia):  "In the absence of faith, we govern by tenderness, and tenderness leads to the gas chambers."  

Thus, he very quickly began a mini-sermon using selective bits of Scripture.  The Gospel story from John about the woman caught in adultery was used to illustrate that merely questioning his post was the equivalent of casting stones like a self righteous Pharisee, but they failed to note that if he applied that same measure to his link it easily implicated his post.  Moreover he failed to remember Jesus in that Scripture did not dismiss the woman's sin as nothing, He held out a better way for the woman accused of adultery:  "go and sin no more".  He gave her room to repent and to order her love to Him.  And He gave insight to those who would be casting stones that the One whose finger carved the Law into stone did so not to condemn us in our brokenness, nor to leave us there,  but to lift us out of the muck of our disordered desires. The redeeming love of Christ does not leave us to center our identity around our disordered desires!!! Yet, the forum we were using to debate this post did not encourage such deep thinking, it was all tired talking points and immature zingers and threats that dominate in these Facebook discussions. No progression of thought or even building on an idea.

But, I will leave you with one bright spot in this whole ugly display.  This is what a beautiful young lady posted in response to the whole sordid affair, so as He always does, God leaves us with a remnant of hope.

"It really saddens me that you keep calling us homophobic, I have not and will not ever discriminate (against) someone based on sex, ethnicity, ect. Have you ever seen me judge someone or treat someone unfair because of who they are, no, I have never acted like that because we are called to love all, but still that does not make gay marriage correct, and it does not make living with a "partner"correct either.  God made man and women to compliment each other, and to confuse these roles in marriage goes against what God intended us for.  Does that mean I will love someone less because they are gay?  No, But if I were to allow them to marry it would be a sin, and I would never want any one to live in sin because sin pushes us farther away from God and I want to be as close to God as possible so we all may reach our ultimate goal, Heaven." 

 There was more, but that gives you the gist of her response.  Concise, factual and charitable, no one was called a name, no one was talked down to.   Hope is kindled!  Yes, there are some young people who know what authentic, strong, courageous and unyielding love really is, and are prepared to defend it - even on Facebook!

However, I was left with a  real sadness.  With all the references made about Jesus, many made by those claiming to be well-formed Catholics, I discerned no relationship with Him.  There was flat banal platitudes, but not a loving relationship.  Love transforms weakness and the world, it does not conform to it.  And I believe that, with a few of the individuals involved in this discussion, if they were really touched by His transforming love, the good that could be done through them would be astounding!

Jesus is clear that to love God is to follow His commands, they are the pathway to union with Him because they transform us to be like Him.  They lead us to out true identity - they do not condemn us to find our identity in our basest, weakest desires, but help us to order our desires to the One who created us.   They give us the heart to love Him and eyes to behold Him.

 Do you know what I think happened to the woman caught in adultery after her encounter with Jesus?  When He looked at her and said: "Neither do I condemn you, go and from now on do not sin anymore.",   I think she looked deep into the eyes of The Light of the World, the Alpha and Omega, the Divine Lover and saw in them the fulfillment of all her desires.  I think that from that moment all that she had to let go of in order to come to the Beloved was put into perspective.  And she followed Him.  Love transforms.

 Peace and Grace,

Heidi

Here is a YouTube montage featuring Matt Maher and Audrey Assad singing Garden.  A song where that describes the transforming love of the Father when we allow Him to enter into garden of our hearts.

   

Easter 2012, Egg Hunt at OneTrueMedia.com

Make a video - it's fun, easy and free!
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Song: Children of the Living God, Fernando Ortega

The Poke and a Prayer

We have always taken a minute or two after tucking the kids in to think about things we are thankful for during the day.  I am not sure exactly when our middle child started adding the pope to her nightly  list but I am sure I commented on what a good thing this was to do as this was surely no easy job.  Our youngest, not wanting to be bested in any way or not wanting to leave ANYONE out (or speed up the process of the lights getting turned off) started to add the pope to his nightly list too.  However, he thought his older sibling had said the "poke".  So every night for about a year we gave thanks for the poke.  I always pictured God chuckling when he was asked for this odd special request.  (I also imagine being all knowing would come in handy trying to interpret the mind of a child.)
While this story is dear to my motherly heart, it also reminds me of the need we have to pray for those who guide and lead us in our faith.  Especially lately when ideas that are not readily welcomed by society are discussed.  It is never an easy thing to share unpopular truths.  The pope, bishops, and priests are people, and no person likes to be unloved or unwelcomed. What strength of character it must take to speak truth when it is not popular.  How trusting in the Lord they must be to get up infront of masses of people and speak on things that make some present squirm and bristle.  How lovingly generous they are to do the work they do.
So...Thank you priests, bishops, and pope! May the Holy Spirit guide and strengthen you!-joze

Our Raucous and Rambling Rituals

"Behold, you desire true sincerity; and secretly you teach me wisdom."  Psalm 51:8 

We have the most slapdash family Lenten prayer rituals of anyone I know, sort of like our Advent traditions, without the fire hazard.  I do try hard to make Lent meaningful for our whole family, yet in the middle of the season it is hard to see any benefit from the effort at all.  And it is an effort. This year has been the most disorganized ever! Still, we stick to it, but I really do long for a tangible outward sign that sticking with our devotions is transforming our hearts to be like His.

One of our family Lenten devotions is praying the Stations of the Cross in our family room.  It is a raucous affair, as children climb on and over furniture to take turns reading the prayers written on paper plates with rudimentary drawings of each station hung around the room.   Like the candles during our Advent prayers, I wonder if the whole devotion is distracting, or worse, not dignified enough for such a solemn and profound prayer.  Can the deep and sacred mysteries of faith break through all the noise?  Maybe it is not helping my children sincerely desire to encounter Jesus Christ, Crucified and to look for Jesus Christ, Resurrected.  Maybe I should change course now, while their is still a little Lent left.

A 4 year old's drawing
of the 14th Station

Perhaps I could do something to bring about a more dramatic atmosphere.  I could play a reverent song like Via  Dolorosa before our prayers, to quiet us down and center us better (I hesitate to suggest this because my husband will just look at me like I am delusional, and point out that no one will be able to hear the music over the crying baby and fidgeting, sometimes fighting kids).

Even as I am ready to completely give up the whole thing and just go back to the fairly calm decade of the Rosary we pray at other times of the year, I spy my little boy Max, pointing to a station saying "Jesus," and them babbling a stream of baby talk that has the exact cadence as "We adore you O Christ and we praise you, for by your holy cross you have redeemed the world."  Amazing!

Amazing that he picked that up in the circus that is our nightly Stations of the Cross.  Amazing that even when nothing seems to be happening, grace, received by a baby, reveals the wisdom of our nightly devotions.  It is not in manufactured drama to increase superficial feelings of devotions and love, nor is it in perfectly performed prayers. The awareness of God, and of His saving love for us is the quiet, secret wisdom that opens little hearts and minds to God in familiar and sincerely done rituals and devotions.  In pondering this, something stirred in my heart, and a question arises, very much like the question God asks Elijah on Mount Horeb:  "Why are you doing these devotions?"  And instantly, I answer, "because I love you, Jesus."

And that brought to my mind the verse from Psalm 51.  It is our prayers that are offered with a sincere heart that yield the humble wisdom to begin to see truth in the mystery of the Way of the Cross, and to trust and love God enough to step into it.  I am strengthened by it, unknowingly, and so are my children.

So, the mystery contained in these chaotic, rambling, noisy Stations of the Cross devotions have an impact that is more profound than it seems at the moment.  Like so many things of God, grace is hidden in the messiness of life.  Like seeds in muddy soil.  The perception of something greater is aroused, and it is nurtured deep into Ordinary Time, long after the Lenten penances have gave way to Easter celebrations.  Our family will continue to faithfully enter into Lenten traditions and rituals because we love Him, and His grace remains with us.


And His grace works not by our power, but by His. God's work is more subtle, more intricate and much more powerful than the signs I want to see.

 

Peace and grace,

Heidi

A blindfolded society

I have to admit it.  I am tired of people demanding the Church "open her eyes" and get with modern ideas and change so as not to offend anyone.  Maybe the Church is not the one who has her eyes shut or is out of focus.  I would say that the Church is the one with clear vision.

Quickly opponents will remind me of all sorts of murky times in Church history and the present age.  I say yes, corruption occurs like a splinter in the eye causing much pain, a lot of tears, and a need to wash away the offending particle.

Instead of the Church being "blind" to reality, maybe it is society that has been "blindfolded" by easy non-realities.  Take the very pervasive current media and political focus on the topics of contraception and same sex marriages.  I simply ask four questions:  Is fertility really a disease?  Is it really the best health care to chemically alter a female body for years and years?  Is the traditional family unit really not the best environment for a child?  Is the procreative ability of a same sex union really the same as a traditional union?

Opponents will provide me with horrible scenerios of abuse, neglect, and discord to attempt to justify their view.  Then they will demand that the Church open her eyes, abandon her ideals, and get with it.  Why, I ask, does the Church need to abandon it's thought out views right now?  Since the demands are being made, I too demand that those who ask this of the Church take the time to really learn the reasons the Church says what she says, to pray and reflect on what is really being said, and to think of their opponents perspective.

Thankfully the vision of the Church has remained focused as it has for over 2000 years.  Even though I am tired at this moment, I must remind myself that the Church I love still is unchangingly gazing ahead with her eyes on the promises of Christ.        -joze

Distractions, Lies and Liabilities

A local columnist, in her a recent article, in the Omaha World Herald states:  "I really believe that if we, as women, treat our bodies like big, gross secrets, we make it easy for men to treat us like big, gross, mysterious liabilities." I am not really sure how the detailing of the various physical difficulties women may suffer will prove that our bodies are not liabilities.  Isn't it a rather pathetic way of saying, "look what a liability my body is.... which is why we women need to have free access to chemicals and procedures that will suppress or remove this liability?"  In the blink of an eye, we are distracted from constitutional issues,  and again buying the lie that health care for women is birth-control, and men (non "delightful" "open- minded" men) are standing in the way of it.

Please, most men were sold on the need for the Pill because it meant sex without babies, which is still the main reason the Pill is used.  It's just really nice for them to be able to look like delightful, open minded men when they also claim that in order for women to progress in "equality" they need unrestricted, unquestioned access to the "health care" the Pill provides.  They neither need nor want all the details.

My question is:  if the progress of women in society cannot take place without suppressing normal body functions,  maybe we should ask ourselves where are we progressing to?  And, doesn't that ratify the notion that our bodies are liabilities?

This column took issue with  Rush Limbaugh's crass comments about 30 year old student/activist Sandra Fluke's testimony before a bunch of politicians. Ms. Fluke testified that she is financially oppressed in having to shell out $1,000 a year (or $3,000 over the course of her studies) as a student of the Catholic university, Georgetown.  The columnist dismissed the comment as ignorance about how the birth control pill works.  In fact, Limbaugh's comments were based on the egregiously high dollar amount that Ms. Fluke gave for the cost of her contraceptive prescription. Maybe he should have more directly questioned if she knew how they worked, I mean how many pills are you taking a day if you are spending that much money? Because the numbers do not add up when you look at the price of contraceptives offered at places like Target and other pharmacies, not even if you factor in a physician's examination.

Most importantly, Mr. Limbaugh  is right to question the necessity of forcing a Catholic institution to pay for contraceptives for reasons of a lifestyle choice.  And that is why most women use these pills, so they can have sex without babies.  Moreover, this HHS contraceptive mandate it not about women's health at all,  it's about control and power.  We women should be smarter than this.  We should not allow our bodies to be used as a power grab for the government.

Since we are so easily diverted from the issue of governmental tyranny, lets lay it out on the table:  Is free access to birth control pills the best way to love and honer the women in your life? Does it increase our knowledge, respect and compassion for women and their health, or does it sow false fear and false compassion?  Is the widespread use of a chemical, considered a Group 1 carcinogen, as the go to treatment for so many of a women's reproductive health problems worth giving up some constitutional rights for?

Yes, some women use birth control pills because of health issues, serious ones like poly cystic ovary syndrome.  Even here, the blanket use of birth control pill is a disservice to the women suffering with this debilitating disease.  She needs targeted hormonal therapy, natural hormones  that will preserve the health of her entire body and soul.

If anything, the Pill has stalled advances in women's health because the Pill can suppress many symptoms of reproductive disorders, and allows women to be less attentive to subtly nuances in their cycles that can help alert them early to serious health issues.  The above link is to a Pope Paul VI website on fertility care, there are wonderful things happening in Dr. Hilgers' clinic and research facilities. Here, a women's body is definitely not seen as a gross liability.  Check it out.

As far as the major use of the Pill, which IS for contraception and not the other reasons that are so emphasized,  there are problems here as well. It will not protect against sexually transmitted diseases, which are a terrible epidemic in some areas, and which are far more devastating to a woman's body.  There are also many other documented problems with the Pill.

 The cultural damage it has done has been devastating. Divorce, single motherhood, fatherless children (why, because the Pill encourages risky behavior, and it is not 100% effective), and of course, when the Pill does not work, abortion is a "solution", Planned Parenthood banks on it.  Men are so taken in by a contraceptive culture that they assume that infertility is the default setting of intercourse.  Does this make them more "delightful", or "open minded" (qualities of men who the columnist feels are very worth while)?  Are these men that you can rely on for strength when you are facing a crises?

 There are men out there who know about their wives cycles intimately. These men practice Natural Family Planning with their wives.  These men are more than merely "delightful, open minded men", they are courageous and committed.  They value their wives in their integrity, mind body and soul. These men appreciate the gift of a women's fertility and would not seek to suppress it's natural function through a artificial, environmentally destructive, libido suppressing carcinogen (the Pill).  If intercourse results in a scary pregnancy (all methods to regulate birth have failure rates), they have the strength and fidelity to man up and protect and provide, which I do not see as patriarchal or oppressive, but as necessary if women want to be truly free in their marriages and society.  Yes, this demands more of them, but it also deepens his commitment and compassion to his spouse, and vice versa.  They are real partners.

 Fear of fertility is also a real cultural issue as well, fear is an pathway for oppression.  So, while it may seem that taking the Pill is a way to relieve this fear,  it really only weakens the virtues of fidelity and courage.  We see the material things of this world as our way to freedom and security,  anything that interferes with that is our enemy.  Contraception pits women against their fertility, but, , a woman's body is not her enemy; her body is not a liability!!

Are we truly a more compassionate culture with birth control already, so readily (and cheaply) available.  Why should men bother with the every day happenings in a women's cycle when the Pill means even the women can worry less.  In many ways the birth control pill have made all of us more ignorant, and it seems that we are happy to be so. So, "delightful, open minded" men, who accept the premise that women ought to be able to see their bodies as an enemy that should be manipulated and controlled are not really what we need.  This type of complacent compassion underwhelms me, and will devastate our country.

How about an honest discussion that has more depth than complaining about our bodies and our cycles to men (you know, as a way to let them know that our bodies are not liabilities ~ really, does that make sense?).  Lets discuss how Misogyny masquerades as women's health and how women's rights are connected to barrenness.  Lets talk about how  how men no longer have to be respectful and watch how they speak about women ~ well, "delightful, open-minded men" don't anyway, men who agree that a women's fertility is a liability.

Misogyny will not go away if women are forever de-feminizing themselves, or throwing their body function and sexuality out for vapid and vulgar public discourse.  We cannot continue to be arbitrarily outraged by some men, but not others who speak appallingly about women; inconsistently demanding respect for only certain kinds of women; not you Bachmen or Palin, you are clearly enslaved to your biology!

Lets discuss what women's health care could look like  if we stop treating out healthy, functioning bodies as liabilities that prevent us from fully using our intellects, our sexuality, and even prevent us from being a better person, (you know, we get cranky at certain times of the month, the Pill helps that too!)  What if we demanded better, more targeted treatments of disorders of the female reproductive system, rather than dismantling or hormonally altering it?

Oh, and there are some very intelligent women speaking on this issue:  Try Elizabeth Scalia's blog, The Anchoress, or read  Dr. Janet Smith, Kathryn Jean Lopez, or Jennifer Fulwiler .  Watch this articulate women, Gloria Purvis, speak on this issue:

http://www.patheos.com/blogs/theanchoress/2012/03/11/gloria-purvis-tells-it/

Read this poem, posted on the Patheos blog, called The Myth of Sex: Sex and Christianity, by Tim Muldoon.  Here is one powerful stanza.

"Fertility becomes the enemy of their lust for power.  Instead of learning compassion they learned more and more how to subdue their fertility.  And when their fertility was fruitful, they killed the children they conceived."  

 Really, read it, the whole thing!

Finally,  and more importantly, the crux of the political issue is not birth control at all, it is about power.  It is about expanding the power of the federal government.  They get to determine what is a ministry of a religious institution, not he institution itself.  They get to determine what will or will not violate the conscience of  employers who hold to certain unalterable teachings of their faith. So, not only are women demeaned by capitulating to the idea that we must control and subdue out femininity because it is a liability to our  full participation in society.  We women are also being used and manipulated by this administration to grab more power than should ever be granted in a nation that values the freedom.

Photos taken by Catherine Tardeiu Schroeder

 at the Stand Up For Religious Freedom Rally/OmahaMarch 24th 2012