Unrestrained Love or Coffee Spoons? A Meditation on the Visitation

 Today is the Feast of the Visitation, when Mary goes to visit her cousin Elizabeth.  This feast is a wonderful opportunity to ponder how we encounter and respond to the movements of the Lord.  Mary hears the words of the Angel Gabriel, and she believes.  She believes and she responds, not only with her great fiat -"be it done to me according to thy word" - but also with an immediate act of charity and generosity, anticipating the needs of her cousin.  In haste Mary goes to Elizabeth, who is expecting to give birth "in her old age" to the prophet John the Baptist.  Mary holds nothing back, she responds to God immediately, and He in turn holds nothing back from her. God responds to Mary's unrestrained giving of herself with a joyous affirmation, by Elizabeth, of the unbelievable events that are occurring. Elizabeth's prophetic response to the Holy Spirit was:

"Most blessed are you among women and blessed is the fruit of your womb.  And how does it happen to me that the mother of my Lord should come to me?  For the moment the sound of your greeting reached my ears, the infant in my womb leaped for joy,  Blessed are you who believed that what was spoken to you by the Lord would be fulfilled." 

Both she and Elizabeth believed and responded with the whole of their hearts!  What would happen if you and I responded to God with such generosity?  What would happen if all the passion and desire that we so easily allow to misdirect us, or, even worse, through fear we suppress, were given over to the Lord with a daily fiat? What could happen if we accepted our lowliness, our nothingness without fear and allowed the Mighty One to sweep us away in His divine love?  What  could happen if we did not fear the deep emptiness that reveals our spiritually starved souls , but feared comfort that dulls and obscures our longings until it was too late and we are too lost?  Time is running out for you and for me.  Can we respond with Mary's beautiful canticle, rejoicing in our nothingness, because it is that humility which allows the unfathomable love of God to direct our paths through this valley of tears?

My soul proclaims the greatness of the Lord; my spirit rejoices in God my savior. For he has looked upon his handmaid's lowliness; behold, from now on will all ages call me blessed. The Mighty One has done great things for me, and holy is his name. His mercy is from age to age to those who fear him. He has shown might with his arm, dispersed the arrogant of mind and heart. He has thrown down the rulers from their thrones; but lifted up the lowly. The hungry he has filled with good things; the rich he has sent away empty. He has helped Israel his servant remembering his mercy according to his promise to our fathers, to Abraham and to his descendants forever."

Maybe this seem like an odd diversion, but I have just re-read T.S. Eliot's poem The Love Song of J. Alfred Prufrock.  There are various analyses of the poem, but just today I watched a YouTube video on the Holy Spirit by Father Robert Barron in which he used a quote from the poem, " I have measured out my life in coffee spoons" as an example of a life lived withholding generous love.  A life lived afraid and unresponsive to passion and desire, and Prufrock is aware that his time to act is running out. It struck me that the frustrated sense of decay, unfulfilled longings and desires that  permeates the poem speaks of a lack of the overflowing love of the Spirit of God.  A withholding of love indicates a lack of love. The stanza before has Prufrock wondering "Do I dare disturb the universe?"  Well, with the Spirit of God directing those longings, desires and passions they will not only not be suppressed, they will fearlessly pour out with love unending and disturb the universe, but in a way according to the word of God.   

Brothers and sisters:  Let love be sincere; hate what is evil, hold on to what is good; anticipate one another in showing honor.  Do not grow slack in zeal, be fervent in spirit, serve the Lord.  rejoice in hope, endure in affliction, persevere in prayer.  Contribute to the needs of the holy ones, exercise hospitality.  Bless those who persecute you, do not curse them.  Rejoice with those who rejoice, weep with those who weep.  Have the same regard for one another; do not be haughty but associate with the lowly; do not be wise in your own estimation.  Romans 12: 9-16

 Respond to God as Mary did; disturb the universe! Not by grasping at power or by fantasizing about mighty deeds, but by the transformation of your heart and soul through the humble reception of the Word! Let the Spirit flow through you with courage and joy, anticipating the needs of others and pouring out with unrestrained love.  Do you dare disturb the universe?  Do I?  Let us pray with Mary and Elizabeth today for an unrestrained and passionate response to the Spirit!

Peace and Grace!

Heidi

A Garden Canticle

Spring is here, and in this Marian month of May, with yard work and spring cleaning in progress (okay, I have not started spring cleaning) my two youngest and I spent a morning playing under the watchful and peaceful gaze of Mary. I tried to say a Rosary while the kids were running and climbing, but alas!  Motherhood means praying on the run, so instead I let my spirit lead me;  and how can you resist praying her beautiful canticle from Luke 1: 46-55?

My soul does magnify the Lord.  And my spirit has rejoiced in God my Saviour.  Because He has regarded the humility of His handmaid:  for behold from henceforth all generations shall call me blessed.  Because He that is mighty has done great things for me:  and holy is His name.

And His mercy is from generation unto generations, to them that fear Him.  He has shown the might of His arm:  He has scattered the proud in the conceit of their heart.  He has put down the mighty from their seat and has exalted the humble.  

He has filled the hungry with good things:  and the rich He has sent empty away.  He has received Israel His servant, being mindful of His mercy.  And He spoke to our fathers:  to Abraham and to his seed forever.

We had only one mishap, Max pulled a wheel barrow full of soil on top of himself!  Nothing that a hug and a bath did not fix! And it gave me pause to reflect that even when we have muddied ourselves in our sin, we know that Our Lady will gently guide us into reconciliation and repentance so that we can be cleansed in His loving mercy!  

May the prayers of the Mother of God be with all who read this blog. May her praise of our Lord ring joyfully in our hearts!  And may we respond to her request to "do whatever He asks of you."

Peace and Grace,

Heidi

irony

I had to laugh after watching a trailer for a new movie coming out.  Given Hollywood's perpetual mockery of the Catholic Church it is no real surprise that the part that caused the laugh was actually an uncharitable attempt at humor on the movie maker's part at the expense of Catholicism.  The line more or less implied that a Catholic does not think for themselves.
Why I laughed? There was great irony in that line.  Funny thing is the Church has always taught that free will, intellect, and reason are gifts from God and we are to use them.  It seems far more appropriate to imply  Hollywood as being the institution that encourages little thought.
A PERSON (not an angel)  trying to live an authentic Catholic life responds to the demands of deeper thought and effort.  They tend to hold themselves accountable for their words and deeds (Confession).  To adhere to the tenets of a demanding faith is far more challenging than giving into society's easy relativism .
 Obedience and humility are no easy feat for most of us.  Offering up our suffering and putting ourselves second is also no easy feat for most of us.  Tempering emotions and showing genuine love are not easy feats either.  These things are just the beginning of what we are called to do and each one of them requires a whole lot of thought and effort.  Sometimes it even requires our lives (Martyrs) 
The Church has challenged us to look beyond ourselves and the moment.  We are called to keep walking the road to the ultimate goal - being with God forever.  Even when society mocks Catholics we are to keep steadily on the road revealed to us from the time of Adam and Abraham through Jesus our Savior to today and tomorrow in the Church guided by the Holy Spirit. 
A little ironic humor certainly keeps the journey on this road interesting.-joze

To Whom Shall You Go?

 I have been completely absorbed in the the space trilogy by C.S. Lewis of late.  Actually I read the first of the three, Out of the Silent Planet last summer, but recently purchase the last two, Perelandra and That Hideous Strength.   They are books that I imagine I will be re-reading again in the future because there is so much there.

It was as I was reading That Hideous Strength that I came upon a passage that really impressed me.  It is a quote by a character named Dr. Dimble as the final battle is beginning.  He is on the side of good, but there are mysteries that he is grappling with that are hard for him to fully understand and his leader, the Director, has commanded him to accept.  As he is discussing things over with his wife he says:

Have you ever noticed,.....that the universe, and every little bit of the universe, is always hardening and narrowing and coming to a point?....I mean this,....If you dip into any college, or school, or parish, or family- anything you like- at a given point in its history you always find that there was a time before that point when there was more elbow room and contrasts weren't quite so sharp; and that there;s going to be a time after that point when there is even less room for indecision and codices are even more momentous  Good is always getting better and bad is always getting worse:  the possiblities of even apparent neutrality are always diminishing."  pg.280-281 

That captured my attention, and it is further fleshed out in the story. We are, for a time, gathered in and then - as with the Biblical image of a winnowing fan - we are separated out.  There are examples of situations that are accepted as morally neutral or tolerated as a necessity of an era in the Bible, but that eventually are revealed as unacceptable, such as Old Testament polygamy.  It is certainly presented in the Bible as something that is accepted, but it is definitely a falling from the original Biblical example of marriage.  And if you read your Bible carefully you see that though it is not wrong for Jacob or David, to have multiple wives and concubines, it costs them something.  Look at the jealousies and rivalries that come of it.  The eventual splitting of the Davidic Kingdom has it's beginnings in the corrosive effect of polygamy.  And the cost is sent on down the generations, until it is time to see and understand; until it is time to make a choice.  As we progress through salvation history, or even our own lives it will eventually come down to a choice, a terrible choice that requires clarity of vision and tenacious clinging to the Word of God.  Our eternal destiny will rest on it.

These thoughts have been turning over in my head for a while now, the passage just brought new clarity for me, especially in the wake of some acrimonious discussions over the issue of  "gay-marriage".  But it is not that issue that primarily bothers me, that is one of many moral issues that are confronting us in our time.  It is how we are coming to a point in our society, and choices will have to be made, and I wonder how clear we, as a culture, see the issues.  I wonder if we have been given just enough of Jesus in our religious instruction to make us think that we know what His love means, but in reality we have inoculated ourselves from being truly overtaken by His radical love.  His radical love is not tepid "acceptance" or "tolerance", it is a purifying fire.  Unless you have ordered your life on the Commandments, putting His will in front, it will be difficult to understand what a shallow sham our culture has made of love, and from there a degenerative blindness seems to set in.  Even when the choice is presented point blank, it becomes too difficult to proceed in the way of the Spirit.

Today's reading (for Saturday, April 28) makes this even more urgent in my mind:

 "Many disciples of Jesus who were listening said, "This saying is hard; who can accept it?"  Since Jesus knew that his disciples were murmuring about this, he said to them, "Does this shock you?  What if you were to see the Son of Man ascending to where he was before?  It is the Spirit that gives life, while the flesh is of no avail.   The words I have spoken to you are Spirit and life,  But there are some of you who do not believe."  Jesus knew from the beginning the ones who would not believe and the one who would betray him.  And he said, "For this reason I have told you that no one can come to me unless it is granted him by my Father."  As a result of this, many of his disciples returned to their former way of life and no longer walked with him.  Jesus then said to the Twelve, "Do you also want to leave?"  Simon Peter answered him, "Master, to whom shall we go?  You have the words of eternal life.  We have come to believe and are convinced that you are the Holy One of God."   John 6 60-69

This is at the end of the Bread of Life discourse.  Jesus is telling his followers to believe that they must "feed on me" or they will have no life in them.  They are shocked, they are confronted with something hard to believe, something that seems foolish and not rational (verse 42:  and they said, "Is this not Jesus, the son of Joseph?  Do we not know his father and mother?  Then how can he say, 'I have come down from heaven'?").    Many of the Lord's disciples no longer walked with Jesus from that point on.  But Peter shows us that he has clung to and believed in the words of the Lord, and when confronted with the choice - though he is as yet not perfected in his belief, nor does he completely understand what the Lord is saying- his love for the Lord clears the way for his courageous words.  And it is this choice that prepares Peter to humbly trust in Jesus, even after his betrayal of Him, he does not despair in his failure but receives with trust and conviction  the abundant mercy of the Lord.  How can we navigate ourselves in this era of hardening and narrowing of our own beliefs?  How can we discern the will and love of God in a time when love is perverted, materialistic, weak and used to blind and divert ourselves from the Truth?  To whom shall you go?  To whom shall you cling to?  A terrible choice is beginning to emerge-choose life, not death.

Peace and Grace,
Heidi

Facebook: Conforming Complacency or Transforming Love

"I urge you therefore, brothers, by the mercies of God, to offer your bodies as a living sacrifice, holy and pleasing to God, your spiritual worship.  Do not conform to this age but be transformed by the renewal of your mind, that you may discern what is the will of God, what is good and pleasing and perfect."  Romans 12:1-2 NAB

Facebook..... what an invitation to mediocrity in debate.  What a temptation to un-reflective pontificating (of course blogging can be also - I suppose).  St.Paul where are you when we need you!  How badly we need a St. Paul of Facebook, or is it Twitter now?

Someone I know posted a link on Facebook a while ago, which included a picture of a Bishop with the word bigot scrawled across it, and it was bravely challenged by another Facebook friend of mine.  The Bishop's crime was in attempting to teach his flock about the Catholic view of marriage and family and the link was challenged not because of hatred for homosexuals, which was insinuated, nor was it challenged because she blindly follows the Bishops, which was also an accusation that was thrown out.  She was not "casting stones" thoughtlessly.  This post was challenged because it was slanderous name-calling; an offence against charity. This may have surprised the one who posted it, since he firmly believes that he speaks on behalf of love, justice and peace.  In his mind, he was on the side of righteousness, which I guess, for him, means you can say anything you want; because, you know, the end justifies the means.

Accusations of homophobia were then quickly leveled at her (and me, for indicating my support for her and the Church with a comment and a lot of "likes").  We were on the side of hate, intolerance and blind obedience. It was an ugly display of self righteousness, justified by "Jesus platitudes" that were completely severed from the Scripture they were taken from.  And it was not only the young man, but a cadre of supporters, who jumped into the conversation for the sake of peace, and justice, and of course always for love.   But it is a counterfeit love, one that weakens and blinds.  One that dulls the intellect and reduces charity to superficial works, to making things look better, not actually transforming brokenness, just re-defining what it is. This counterfeit love affirms vice, and discourages virtue. It will damn you in the end.

Unfortunately these views are not surprising, the sentimentality that is exacerbated by our social media culture demands that feelings rule the day, until your feelings - which is your conscience in this view -  fade and/or change.  Moral laws that are hard to follow are intolerant and unjust. What was so amazing was that when his charity was challenged his tolerance is what really dissipated, and he, and his friends began to rant and rave about how the Church was our biggest problem.  He ended up throwing out a vague threat that we should watch what we posted in the future! Reminds me of a Flannery O'Connor quote (taken from a work of Elizabeth Scalia):  "In the absence of faith, we govern by tenderness, and tenderness leads to the gas chambers."  

Thus, he very quickly began a mini-sermon using selective bits of Scripture.  The Gospel story from John about the woman caught in adultery was used to illustrate that merely questioning his post was the equivalent of casting stones like a self righteous Pharisee, but they failed to note that if he applied that same measure to his link it easily implicated his post.  Moreover he failed to remember Jesus in that Scripture did not dismiss the woman's sin as nothing, He held out a better way for the woman accused of adultery:  "go and sin no more".  He gave her room to repent and to order her love to Him.  And He gave insight to those who would be casting stones that the One whose finger carved the Law into stone did so not to condemn us in our brokenness, nor to leave us there,  but to lift us out of the muck of our disordered desires. The redeeming love of Christ does not leave us to center our identity around our disordered desires!!! Yet, the forum we were using to debate this post did not encourage such deep thinking, it was all tired talking points and immature zingers and threats that dominate in these Facebook discussions. No progression of thought or even building on an idea.

But, I will leave you with one bright spot in this whole ugly display.  This is what a beautiful young lady posted in response to the whole sordid affair, so as He always does, God leaves us with a remnant of hope.

"It really saddens me that you keep calling us homophobic, I have not and will not ever discriminate (against) someone based on sex, ethnicity, ect. Have you ever seen me judge someone or treat someone unfair because of who they are, no, I have never acted like that because we are called to love all, but still that does not make gay marriage correct, and it does not make living with a "partner"correct either.  God made man and women to compliment each other, and to confuse these roles in marriage goes against what God intended us for.  Does that mean I will love someone less because they are gay?  No, But if I were to allow them to marry it would be a sin, and I would never want any one to live in sin because sin pushes us farther away from God and I want to be as close to God as possible so we all may reach our ultimate goal, Heaven." 

 There was more, but that gives you the gist of her response.  Concise, factual and charitable, no one was called a name, no one was talked down to.   Hope is kindled!  Yes, there are some young people who know what authentic, strong, courageous and unyielding love really is, and are prepared to defend it - even on Facebook!

However, I was left with a  real sadness.  With all the references made about Jesus, many made by those claiming to be well-formed Catholics, I discerned no relationship with Him.  There was flat banal platitudes, but not a loving relationship.  Love transforms weakness and the world, it does not conform to it.  And I believe that, with a few of the individuals involved in this discussion, if they were really touched by His transforming love, the good that could be done through them would be astounding!

Jesus is clear that to love God is to follow His commands, they are the pathway to union with Him because they transform us to be like Him.  They lead us to out true identity - they do not condemn us to find our identity in our basest, weakest desires, but help us to order our desires to the One who created us.   They give us the heart to love Him and eyes to behold Him.

 Do you know what I think happened to the woman caught in adultery after her encounter with Jesus?  When He looked at her and said: "Neither do I condemn you, go and from now on do not sin anymore.",   I think she looked deep into the eyes of The Light of the World, the Alpha and Omega, the Divine Lover and saw in them the fulfillment of all her desires.  I think that from that moment all that she had to let go of in order to come to the Beloved was put into perspective.  And she followed Him.  Love transforms.

 Peace and Grace,

Heidi

Here is a YouTube montage featuring Matt Maher and Audrey Assad singing Garden.  A song where that describes the transforming love of the Father when we allow Him to enter into garden of our hearts.

   

Easter 2012, Egg Hunt at OneTrueMedia.com

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Song: Children of the Living God, Fernando Ortega

The Poke and a Prayer

We have always taken a minute or two after tucking the kids in to think about things we are thankful for during the day.  I am not sure exactly when our middle child started adding the pope to her nightly  list but I am sure I commented on what a good thing this was to do as this was surely no easy job.  Our youngest, not wanting to be bested in any way or not wanting to leave ANYONE out (or speed up the process of the lights getting turned off) started to add the pope to his nightly list too.  However, he thought his older sibling had said the "poke".  So every night for about a year we gave thanks for the poke.  I always pictured God chuckling when he was asked for this odd special request.  (I also imagine being all knowing would come in handy trying to interpret the mind of a child.)
While this story is dear to my motherly heart, it also reminds me of the need we have to pray for those who guide and lead us in our faith.  Especially lately when ideas that are not readily welcomed by society are discussed.  It is never an easy thing to share unpopular truths.  The pope, bishops, and priests are people, and no person likes to be unloved or unwelcomed. What strength of character it must take to speak truth when it is not popular.  How trusting in the Lord they must be to get up infront of masses of people and speak on things that make some present squirm and bristle.  How lovingly generous they are to do the work they do.
So...Thank you priests, bishops, and pope! May the Holy Spirit guide and strengthen you!-joze